What makes a movie “dangerous?” Effectively, for starters, these varieties of films fail to have any redeemable qualities or their flaws prominently outweigh every little thing they’ve to supply. In actual fact, some legendarily dangerous motion pictures are broadly identified as a result of they’re so horrible. I am speaking in regards to the likes of Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room” or 2010’s “Birdemic: Shock and Terror.” Nonetheless, motion pictures on this vein nonetheless provide one thing significant regardless of their nonsensical nature, as there’s enjoyable available with an egregiously dangerous premise. For instance, a franchise like “Sharknado” induces loads of unintended laughs, the place the escalating occasions are so baffling and cringe-worthy that the movies change into an outlet for senseless leisure.
However what a few film that’s insufferably, irredeemably dangerous? As in, so dangerous it is at present the lowest-rated movie on IMDb with a ranking of 1.9 out of 10? In the event you’ve by no means heard of 2008’s “Catastrophe Film,” you are in all probability higher off not realizing, as this Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer-directed parody flick has been deemed the worst film of all time, at the very least in line with IMDb. I am undecided whether or not it really is the worst of all time — in spite of everything, “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” exists and sports activities an notorious 0% ranking on Rotten Tomatoes — however its premise is fairly doubtful. Likewise, the precise film is crammed with juvenile humor and stereotypical character framing. Maybe its worst sin, nevertheless, is that it manages to bother the heck out of even essentially the most affected person and forgiving moviegoers.
With out losing any extra time, allow us to discover out what “Catastrophe Film” is all about, and what precisely makes it so obnoxiously horrible.
Catastrophe Film is a punishing, soul-sucking watch
Spoilers for “Catastrophe Film” to observe.
For some purpose, “Catastrophe Film” begins with a caveman being chased by an animal in 10,001 B.C. till he encounters bodybuilder Wolf/Michael Van Wijk (Ike Barinholtz). After defeating him, the caveman listens to a prophecy informed by the beast (who is meant to be Amy Winehouse for some purpose), foretelling that the world will finish on a sure date. A Crystal Cranium (sure, you learn that proper, that is purported to be an “Indiana Jones” spoof) is talked about as the important thing to averting this catastrophe. This sequence is then revealed to be the dream of a present-day dude named Will (Matt Lanter), who subsequently undergoes a breakup and throws a celebration, just for an fascinating group of characters to indicate up.
If you wish to know what occurs subsequent, please do not trouble, because the “plot” hereafter is a string of unfunny jokes and film references that exist for the sake of it. All the things from “Iron Man” to “Cloverfield” is parodied right here, to the purpose that there’s zero originality at play and each gag is an affordable, distorted riff on a second from the movies it is obsessive about referencing. Overlook being a responsible pleasure; there isn’t any pleasure available watching a few “Alvin and the Chipmunks” knockoffs randomly pursue Will with murderous intent, solely to finish up being trapped inside a garbage can to endure a suffocating demise. The remainder of the film is equally tedious and worsening to look at.
For these prepared to look at this factor out of morbid curiosity, “Catastrophe Film” additionally stars Vanessa Minnillo, Gary “G Thang” Johnson, Crista Flanagan, Nicole Parker (whose efficiency because the Enchanted Princess is mildly entertaining when in comparison with, effectively, every little thing else), Kim Kardashian, and Carmen Electra, amongst others. I’ve nothing else so as to add, besides that an Unrated “Cataclysmic” Version of the movie was additionally launched on DVD and Blu-ray. For the sake of everybody’s sanity and well-being, although, it is in all probability greatest ignored.